The Ups and Downs of April

April was a bad month. Really bad. I don't want to get into personal stuff on my running blog, but I will say that my little family got rocked this month. It took all the power I had to keep going. There have been days when I've had to pry myself out of bed. I've had friends ask what's wrong because I haven't been a very good friend and have turned inward. I don't want to sound melodramatic, but it's been rough. However we are looking forward and we are hanging in there and we'll make it.

So, when stuff in my personal life takes an unexpected turn, my fitness and health take a hit. I wish it weren't that way, but it is what it is. I have Ragnar next month so I'm training for that and having a plan has helped. I hope May is better. I need May to be better all the way around. So, after all that nonsense, here's the fun stuff...

Miles Planned/Miles Ran: No plan/88

Rest Days Planned/Rest Days Taken: No plan/17 - April was a bad month. Went one full week of not running because of sickness and other stuff. I'm actually proud of my mileage based on everything.

Highest Mileage Week: 4/25 - 4/30: 24 miles

Long Runs Planned/Long Runs Completed: 5/4.5

Current Book: I just finished Ultramarathon Man. Great book. Now I'm reading Nurture Shock. Learning a lot about raising children. I'll take all the help I can get!

Current Shame-Inducing Guilty Pleasure: Until last week it was Cadbury Mini Eggs. But since they are off the shelf now, not sure what it is.

Current Colors: Purple for me because that was my marathon color but it was too cold to wear what I planned and Yellow because it looks so good on my little boy.

Current Obsessions: Lost. I missed it the first time around. Now I have to FORCE myself to stop watching. It's really, really pathetic.

Current Drink: Water. Although we got Sparkling Pink Lemonade at TJ's and it is really good.

Current Song: Firework by Katy Perry and Someone Like You by Adele

Current Wish-List: To get back to the high I was feeling 5 weeks ago. April's been a crappy month. Oh and to figure some stuff out - get an idea of what's next.

Current Need: Sleep! I have been staying up way too late watching Lost.

Current Triumph: Surviving (barely) the month of April.

Current Bane of my Existence: The unknown.

Current Goal: Have a swim body by swimsuit season (when is that?!)

Current Indulgence: Leftover Easter candy - but I'm doing No-Sweets-May so that indulgence is out the window.

Current Blessings: An incredibly supportive family and amazing friends.

Current Excitement: Ragnar in 3 weeks and my little sister is coming in 3 1/2 weeks! Yeah baby!

Paparazzi?!

On Monday, I went running at 1 in the afternoon. I was about 1/2 mile into my run, on a main road when I saw a silver convertible approaching. As he drove by, I looked over and saw that he had a camera up and was taking a picture...of me. Weird huh? Kind of freaked me out. My husband asked if I got his license plate number. Nope. Didn't think about it. I do think that I am going to change my route up even more frequently...as well as changing around the time that I run.

Hard core. Hard Bodies. Total Control.

My mantra this week. Credit goes to my sister Alicia.

My marathon has been over for about two weeks. And although I have still been running (logged 22 miles last week), I haven't been very good about my eating. Okay...let's be honest, my eating has SUCKED. And I'm feeling it. Leading up to the marathon, I was running around 30 miles a week. That's a lot of miles - and a lot of calories burned. And I was being careful about what I was eating (gave up sweets). So I've cut back miles and added calories. It's not hard math to figure out. I'm getting soft. And I don't like it.

Well, the best way to fix the problem is to set new goals, which I did so now I am on my way to reaching a new level of fitness. While I don't have a race to really train for, I'm going to focus on overall fitness. I'm going to be hard core and I'm going to get a hard body. Not scary, weight lifting chick hard. Just toned.

And since accountability is everything, I'm putting it out there for all my readers to see. Here are some of my goals include:

1. No sweets until Easter - two weeks.

2. Run at least 20 miles a week.

3. P90X two days a week, plus the ab ripper on my short run days.

4. Track my eating using an online calorie counter.

5. Stop eating at 8 pm.

There you have it. Wish me luck!

Thank you.

Thank you all for your awesome and kind comments. Means so much to hear from other runners. It's inspirational.

Right now, I'm trying to figure out what's next. I feel a little lost without a concrete goal to work for. I have the Ragnar in May, but that's a tough one to train for. I have started a 6-week 1/2 marathon training because I like a schedule. I don't know whether or not I'll run an official half marathon in 6 weeks, but I will get out there and run 13.1 miles either way.

I still think about the marathon on a daily basis. Of course I question if I could have/should have run it faster. I wonder during which miles I should have pushed a little more. I wonder if I really gave it my all. I certainly think I did. But maybe I could have done more.

These questions I did not expect. I didn't expect them to "haunt" me for days after the race. I guess the only way to put them to rest is to run another one! I really am planning on it, but for now, nothing in the works. Need to put husband and kids first for a little while. Not because they are asking for it, but because it's what feels right to me right now.

So those are my thoughts....